An Idle Man In The Devil’s Workshop
The Briton living near the forest was non-argumentative, unlike the Indian, was but restless for some days. He had no work to do. As he was an idle person he had no entertaining daily routine like raising children, buying newspapers, milk, groceries or washing the clothes of his wife etc.
Fed up with the world and himself he left home and took himself across the river into the trees. The birds in the woods thought that he was for a morning stroll and the bungling monkeys too didn’t notice his red face filled with self contempt and anger. The white man who is the supreme creation of God strayed deep and deep into the forest. It is obvious that only the white man who not only is an intellect was created by God. All other coloured men came out from the foolish and chattering monkeys, who do no work but only eat.
All the carnivores he came across were also idle like him. They were too lazy to prey on him. They were happy with their hunger instead of work like the poor African nations who are at war among themselves instead of doing agriculture.
At last he came to an abandoned bungalow. Fierce looking nails were fixed on the compound wall and a running computer screen screamed “trespassers will be devoured”, unlike the selfish giant of Oscar Wilde who wrote that they would only be prosecuted. He went near the gate and saw the landlord’s name hanging menacingly next to the gate-“SATAN”.
As he was an ideal creation he trespassed and went inside the bungalow. Satan was obviously a fool not to switch on electricity to the gate and wall. The Briton went to the super computer of Satan. Even though idle he was a born computer expert who constantly ate meat from Buffalo instead of vegetable sandwich from Bangalore.
He began to change the settings of the computer. The screen on the compound wall now screamed ” Satan get lost, now you have lost both Heaven and Earth”.
When Satan returned he was shocked. As he touched the gate he was thrown off by the high voltage electricity. Satan gasped! He ran around the building yelling not being able to get inside.
As days went by Satan could not bear the agony. He could not sent hate arrows to the middle-east, Kashmir, or from North Korea to the South. Earth was becoming peaceful. Meanwhile some other terrible things also happened.In Burma Aung San Suu Kyi was released, Nobel prize was given to the European Union signalling a no war zone in medieval Europe and to the horror of Satan, in India inter caste marriage increasingly got approved. Unbearable Satan howled like a hungry wolf.
At last he decided to take the inevitable. He decided to meet his most hated enemy, the supreme power of universe of course the God. He appeared before God. He was ashamed of himself. There was no other alternative, but suffer this. God looked at him gracefully.
“Well Satan have you changed”
“No” unashamed, to get his way Satan continued “I want help”.
God looked at him “You have turned the only living planet into your fiefdom- HELL. What help do you want from me, my son?”
God’s address was unbearable to Satan. The love coming in abundance from the gracious God pierced his rock hard skin with a thousand nails. He quickly narrated his predicament.
God smiled “So you have been outwitted by a wily Briton.” God continued,” But there is a problem, a wily Briton can be outsmarted only by another wily Briton. Unfortunately there are no living persons for this job now’. God said sadly.
“But O God! what should I do, I was once your darling!”
God fell for it. He became sentimental.
“OK Satan, there is a way out.There is a Briton named Ian Fleming. He tries to write spy stories. I shall give him a character named James Bond who loves only women and wine. He will help you. Bond will be given a license to kill and gamble. Go in peace my child. Whomsoever comes to me will return in peace.”
Satan disappeared instantly. It was like sitting on a throne full of thorns, to face the hateful, stupid and generous God!
Satan waited for James Bond to happen.